The job thing - again

So life throws punches. Work is closing out the office here now that the contract we were doing was cancelled. It is interesting to see so many people interested in talking to me vs last time. Nashville is in a big upswing with java development lately. Good to see. Where the next job will be. I haven't decided yet. Maybe now is a good time to clean house and start my life over again. Maybe... But I've learned some leasons about how hard it is to find people that match on things around my MPD, my sexual desires, wants, and needs. I don't like the constant fighting. But I feel understood most of the time. The collar has come off girl 2. She just couldn't live with it on anymore. Akhenaten is crushed. Scott's like, well some of the stuff we couldn't have to keep the mindset of roles in place can be had now... But it's still confusing. I want everything to go happy. I also miss not having evening time to work on my leather and game development. But the trade off of having the BDSM club and girl 2 in my life has way outweighed those wants. I don't want this change right now. I don't want to have to think about this. I was just getting happy with how life was going. Looking to start paying off some old bills. Looking to get some dental and vision stuff handled. Now everything is on hold yet again. I'm happy that I'm not stopped this time. I'm feeling some extra depression. But the anxiety being under control from the meds is making it a bit easier to manage the extra stress.

much has happened

So many things have happened since I last wrote... Lots of emotional pain. The anti-anxiety meds are helping a lot. But we get so many feelings it can't help with. So I'm writing today because yesterday they announced this project is cancelled. Looking like I'll have three weeks of employment and then two weeks of severance. Today I've applied for two positions. One remote based and one in Cincinnati. Looking at others too. That is with my same company. I'm planning to look at other companies locally soon too. My kids are upset because their grandma is dieing. (bone cancer.) I feel so helpless to help them. Even if they were close to me I couldn't help them with this other than provide hugs. Wish I could...