Crashed out

Girl number 1 had teeth surgery. Then her dad died. Sever depression.
I crash around that.
Litterly crashed Sat night.
I'm still not right.
Girl number 2 isn't right either.
It will all work out.
Lots of drama right now.
Not much to really say other than taking it one day at a time.

Looking for work and that's stressing me out.

I'm seeing lots of negatives right now and lots of fear about this project ending and the cuts they are making.

Starting a business. I want to do that full time instead of working for someone else. But it isn't self substaining yet. I have good ideas, but no time to work them.

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Last Sat night I crashed out hard. I was at the club and girl number 2 got me out of there. The flood gates opened and hords of people that have been locked up came streaming out. There was lots of panic and terror. I had an over driving urge to get out of the truck and go running/screaming. Luckily Akhenaten was able to lock down the body and we stayed put. These are people that bairly could access my Central memory core. They seem to have their own. Maybe that's why mine is so limited in size. My brain has been caved up. It took a bit to get them all settled back down in their cages. I think a few stayed out but aren't really bothering me that I can tell.

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Why do I have these hoards of scared and angry people? This is a question I have frequently wondered. I've been getting closer and closer to them over the last few months. I've actively gone looking for them a few times. But mostly they stay a distant rattle/distractation in my head.

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I with they would leave... Or rather I haven't found a use for them yet.

My life has sucked because of them...


Or their life has sucked because of me.


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I'm tired of the pent up rage and anger and I can't let it out. People don't like it when you play war lord...