3 Days Later...[Akhenaten]

Stress what stress?!


Great week-end on many fronts.

Friday night had a partner swap date. I kind of fell apart as everyone tried to get out at the same time. I ended up spinning and spinning. Finally I realized I needed food because I hadn't had much dinner. Food helped and we had more fun. Then we woke up Saturday and went some more. Rachel again had some good fun in all that and was made to feel wanted. She cried...

The big surprise Saturday was the seizure girl number one had an a personality showed up that has been gone for a long time. (Right after my date left.) And the existing integrated personality seemed to go away. So now my girl is back. The quality of my existence with the personality out in that body really makes a difference in how I feel inside me. I know that is dangerous and co-dependent and it is how it is...

I do find it a really odd co-incidence that she shows up right after we had just had a big major fight. But we had worked through a lot of problems in that fight. At least some things were said that were over due. So I'm left wondering if their brain's fix was to re-set to who I indicated I wanted...

Now that she's back I can sexually touch that body again. That relaxed a major stress. I need to feel safe in my own home. Part of that is being able to act on my urges and know that they are wanted.


Girl number 2 and I had some really great bonding time as well this week-end with a couple of her personalities and mine. It was very needed! Scott got some bottoming time with her in an unexpected but desired twist in our dynamic. We wouldn't be able to handle a steady diet of it, but he's been needing what he got. We could tell she wasn't very comfortable doing it... That is reassuring in it's own right. LOL

I also spent some time with another personality last night that was hit really hard when her "sister slave" was put into storage. I finally got to feel and express some feelings and emotions about that event... I needed to let it out. She seemed to be the right one to do that with... We both have a sense of loss over this and understand why it was needed and don't want it. Now Rachel has lost one and Akhenaten has lost one in that system... After all the loss I've had with girl #1 I'm just not feeling it as much and have learned that change in the mix seems to be a constant. But it still hurts.

I was just teasing that personality that I didn't love her as we were playing. That was a lie...


Looking forward to this next week-end. Big Con. Never been to one before.


I'm at work early and haven't gotten started yet. I don't want the good in my head to end with work reality. But here it goes...