This is the first birthday that I can ever remember where I'm not super crabby, depressed, and upset. Feels good to finally feel happy.
Rachel has shown up a few times recently, but mostly is out of the picture. After many days of Akhenaten only I'm getting more Scott time and learning to express what I want too. Both of us are pushing away the "holding back" good boy shit we spent a life time perfecting that disservices us.
We've had some pitfalls in the last couple weeks but big picture we are doing much better all in all.
We hate the road that lead us here. But some of these changes are for the MUCH better in our head. Working on letting go of the pain and anger that got us here.
As a household we've been working on house rules. We are mostly agreeing on them. We have some left to go which in my view are some of harder ones. How we get people advanced from no-sex to sex with condoms and have them okayed. In my fantasy world I get to make all those calls. But the cost of getting my girls buy in too out ranks losing them from my life. Pussy whipped? No. Maybe a little... But 99% of it is that I love them and value their input and feelings. I want us all to be happy.
I'm super sleepy. Off to watch tv or something... I've been on the edge of switching almost all day and have been a bit lose. It's taken a toll on the brain but we needed some free spin time.
Oh Santa is almost here! Yay! [Scotty]
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