"Don't Leave the Buckets Out With The Blades In It"

Yesterday everything was fine. But the closer to home I got the more and more pressure there was in my head. I knew that sensation it is the "I'm going to shift to someone else" pressure. But we fought it and fought it because we had dinner to make and work to do. And a project to work on. And we were switching between the main three no problem so what the hell?! And we were cranky and grumpy and we were aware of it and couldn't stop it. We even commented on how our reactions were out of perporsion to the stimulus.

We went to bed. Had fun sex. Ending with Beast out. Still ok but our left arms was kind of numb and the pressure in our head wasn't stopping.

Then all hell broke loose. We started seeing scenes of a mental ward public area. We kept refocusing on a table with a bucket with blades in it. And this phrase kept playing over and over, "don't leave the buckets out with the blades in it." over and over and over. [Large sour cream container with stake knives standing vertically in it in a circle but not falling to the side of the container for support...] We almost said it out loud but were afraid of what would happen and worked on pushing it away. Failed... We suddenly switched over to someone new - well that isn't quite right. I'll get to that. He took quick notice of girl 2 being in bed with him and started playing with her. Odd thing. When he moved towards her head the brighter and "higher feeling" things got and he came out stronger. As he moved down her body things darker and it was harder to hold the front position. A bunch of us were pulling on him to pull him back in. Suddenly we switched to Scotty and there was a huge pain in the back of our right eye. To him it felt like the bad man had stabbed him in the eye from the back as he went in. He'd used a knife from the bucket to get free... He was put back in his cage or room.... Scotty mentioned how he'd forgotten about this nightmare. None of us can remember anything about this. So is this someone new? Someone old we'd walled up in the past? Either way he definitely scared even Mike.  From there we spun around to a bunch of different people and shook a lot. And internally cried ourselves to sleep...

Morning. Depressed. Just don't care it's time for work. Forced us up...  Here we sit...

While driving in to work I popped into the meeting room in the castle and there were hundreds of new faces... There is is some battles going on trying to get them back to the cages where they live. We are scared about what that means. That is the debtors prison area. And now that I have this new job maybe it is safe to left them be free... But... We have a fine balance and don't want it upset. Old work did that for us already though....


Because I needed a breakdown right now....   ughhh

My eye is still a bit sore... I wonder if physically a blood vessel popped while we were switching. Looking in the mirror I don't see anything wrong though. Aches like it used to when I was six and seven, before I got glasses.